I am writing this column on Friday so I can enjoy a labor-less Monday. So to keep it simple I am including three of my favorite jokes that I have shared previously in the Center’s weekly newsletter. And to keep is short, the usual Center announcements are in the form of that long ago equivalent to today’s text messaging - the telegram.
A good time to laugh is any time you can. ~Linda Ellerbee
An old man living alone on a farm wrote to his only son, Bubba, in prison. "Dear Bubba, I'm feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. Wish you were here--I know you'd take care of it for me. Love, Dad"
About a week later, the farmer received this letter: "Dear Dad, Whatever you do, Don't dig up the garden! That's where I buried the bodies!! Bubba"
The next morning FBI agents stormed the property and dug up the entire garden. They didn't find any bodies, so they apologized to the old man and left disgusted.
Soon the farmer received another letter: "Dear Dad: Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. It's the best I could do under the circumstances. Bubba"
September National Emergency Preparedness Month –(Stop)- Lynette Black OSU Extension agent speaker Tuesday 13th 11:00 –(Stop)- Learn how to prepare for unexpected emergencies
One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old German Shepherd thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep blankety-blank now!"
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!," says the panther, "That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes. The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.
The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says...
"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"
Music 7:00 tonight at Center –(Stop)- Strawberry Mountain Band –(Stop)- Next Tuesday John Martin and Friends playing –(Stop)- Everyone invited for good time –(Stop)- Donations accepted
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"
"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
Chester A. Riley played by William Bendix often exclaimed “What a revoltin’ development, this is.” –(Stop)- Winner Marilyn Sarsfield –(Stop)- This week’s “Remember When” question –(Stop)- What is name of comic strip began in 1918 still running –(STOP)- was the first to show its characters aging –(Stop)- Skeezix is now an octogenarian –(Stop)- E-mail your answer to firstname.lastname@example.org, call 541-296-4788 or mail it with a copy of Walt Wallet’s family tree
Well, it’s been another stop and go week that got up and went. Until we meet again when you are driving through life, don’t confuse the gas pedal with the brake.
“When people are laughing, they're generally not killing each other.” Alan Alda