Loneliness
has been described as “when one door is closed, but the ‘other one’ has yet to
open”. Or “an ‘inner worm’ that gnaws at the heart”. It can visit at any time in
our lives. But circumstances and events we encounter as we get older: the loss
of a life partner or difficulties with our hearing, seeing or
walking,
create incentives that make it easier to be more withdrawn, alone
and less likely to be involved in social activities and organizations.
But we are social beings - meant to be with others. And
although it may feel more comfortable just talking to ourselves (at least that
person knows us), research has found that social engagement is better for both
our physical and mental health. (Maybe because there is someone there to kick us
out of our funk and encourage us to keep moving; or be that cheerleader who
believes in us when we start losing confidence in ourselves.)
But if you are one of many who doesn’t find socializing
easy or natural; and who reacts to a large group of strangers (meaning two or
more) the same as a dentist’s drill, you might find these suggestions helpful.
First, social encounters can be tricky, but don’t
interpret them as rejection or hostility - and then blame yourself. Focus on
the positive and not on what you may have thought went wrong.
.
Second, it may be easier to meet new friends while attending
a class or lecture - something you can talk about with others instead of having
to start a conversation from scratch.
And last, but most important, give it a chance. Whether
attending Meals-on-Wheels lunch or a church service for the first time, most
groups have established social relationships built over time. And although they
are open to new friendships, don’t expect them to welcome you like the prodigal
son. Give yourself time to establish your own relationships. And as a rule of
thumb, try it for at least six times before you decide that it doesn’t work for
you.
Life has much to offer during all stages of our lives.
But you have to keep your eyes open and your antennas up. Get out, engage in
conversations and develop new friendships. And then because you have the emotional
connections with others, when the grandkids are gone and you are alone, you can
enjoy the peaceful solitude that provides comfort and offers a time for
reflection.
Ten percent of
all health care spending comes from fraud and abuse; while Medicare and Medicaid
loses $65 billion each year to criminals. Those are just a few figures
highlighting the importance of catching and preventing healthcare fraud and abuse.
The next Tuesday lecture will present a Webinar produced by AARP called “Protect
Yourself from Healthcare Scams and Frauds”. The presentation starts at 11:00 at
the Center and is open to everyone.
Here is another
opportunity to confuse your brain with what it doesn’t expect: the Center’s music
announcement for October 29th - from back to front. (But be forewarned, next
week I will step it up a notch.)
.couple a for
$3.00 or person per $2.00 is donation suggested the and PM 7:00 at starts
music, PM 6:00 at open Doors .enjoyment
dancing and listening your for favorites
pleasing crowd playing be will “Boys Dufur The” the ,October of 29th the on
night Tuesday next Center the At
The
brand of O-gauge model trains popular in the 50’s was made by Lionel - which Bill
Van Nice remembers Bill Schonley, Portland Trail Blazer Radio Announcer, using to
nickname Lionel Hollins "The Train”. (And this week’s winner of a free
Saturday Breakfast on November 16th is Jerry Phillips.)
For
this week’s “Remember When” question, who wrote the satirical comic strip described
by John Updike as “a comic strip with fire in its belly and a brain in its
head” that ran for 43 years from 1934 to 1977 featuring the Yokum clan of
hillbillies; as well as colorful characters Marryin’ Sam, Moonbeam McSwine and
Senator Jack S Phogbound? E-mail your
answer to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, call 541-296-4788 or mail it with an
original copy of “The Life and Times of a Shmoo” published in 1948.
Well,
it has been another week with my nose pressed to the glass looking to see all
that can be seen. Until we meet again, as the old cowboy Mike once said, “Never
ask a barber if you need a haircut.”
“The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain.
It's the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared.” Lois Lowry
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