Ah, regrets.
I wish I hadn’t sold the IBM stock my grandmother gave me fifty years ago. I
wish I had asked my dad what he did before and during the war? I wish I hadn’t said,
“Who would want to learn German!” to my sister-in-law whose parents immigrated
from Germany and is fluent in German. (I’m still trying to make up for that verbal
slip-up.)
But do
you have any regrets? It’s natural to have occasional regrets about the past because
we’ve lived long enough to have plenty of those “I wish I had done that
differently” moments.
But
how can we accept what has been and look ahead instead of back, so we can live without
carrying a basket full of regrets the rest of our lives? Margaret Manning posed
that question in her March 2015 post “How to Live Without Regrets After 50” on the
“Next Avenue” website.
She
identified several tips.
Talk
to Someone. Even though it might be embarrassing, share your feelings with
someone else. You might even discover another perspective you hadn’t
considered.
Get Back
into the World. If you find yourself more isolated because of your regrets, that’s
not good. Isolation just makes any problem worse. But if you don’t feel
comfortable jumping back in with a splash, start slowly. Just don’t get stuck. As
Winston Churchill said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going!”
Find a
Way to Forgive Yourself. Aren’t regrets just a way of punishing yourself for
things you can no longer change? Stop beating yourself up. We are often our
harshest critic by ignoring the good we have done.
Acknowledge
Your Regrets and Move On. Forget the mistake but remember the lesson. There is
a popular saying from the movie Slumdog
Millionaire, “Everything will be OK in the end – and if it’s not OK, it’s
not the end.”
Learn
to Live in the Present. What’s done is done, and what will be will be. To help train
your mind to live in the present try meditation, yoga or prayer.
We are
who we are as much from our mistakes and the lessons learned as we are from our
successes. We all have regrets - just don’t let them consume you. Share your feelings,
stay involved, forgive, be kind to yourself and move on. There is so much more
to live.
“Writing
Prompts” will be Kerry Cobb’s next class at the Center on Tuesday, June 4 at
1pm. As Kerry explains, “Everyone has a story to tell, and in this workshop, we’ll
explore writing simple, short thoughts by means of prompts that will get your
creative juices flowing. Everyone is invited to this fun and easy exercise. No
writing experience necessary - just a desire to have some fun and share.”
There are
two free lectures in June on the Aging Brain presented by Dr. Timothy Jennings,
MD: “The Aging Brain - Proven Steps to Prevent Dementia and Sharpen Your Mind”
on Saturday, June 8th from 10:00 – 4:30 at the MCMC Medical Office
Building A and B. And “The Mind, God’s Design” at the same location on the night
before, Friday June 7th at 6 PM. For more information on either
lecture, you can contact Joyce Browne at 541-200-0111 or joyduckbro@gmail.com.
The
name of the Broadway musical based on T. H. White’s novel The Once and Future King and ran on Broadway from 1960 to 1963 was Camelot. It included the lyric that President
Kennedy was especially fond of, “Don’t ever let it be forgot, that once there
was a spot, for one brief shining moment that was Camelot” which was written by
Alan Jay Lerner, JFK’s classmate at Harvard. Since I will be visiting my
daughter in San Diego, I’m submitting this column waaay early. I will list all
the correct responses next week.
I’ll
end the month with one more Broadway musical question - this one is from 1965. For
this week’s “Remember When” question what was the name of the musical that told
the story of the "mad" knight Don Quixote and his manservant Sancho
Panza? Email your answer to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, leave a message at
541-296-4788 or return your answer with a recording of “The Impossible Dream”.
Well,
it’s been another week, counting my blessings. Until we meet again, if you wake
up feeling tired and blue - pull back the covers and get out of bed.
“If
you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate you are bound to wake up
somebody.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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