Last week a friend asked,
“How old are you?” I’m not at that stage in my life when I can start bragging about
my age, but I told her anyway, “I’m 72”. “Wow, you don’t look 72” was her
response.
I knew
she intended that to be a compliment, and I usually I take it that way. But after
thinking more about what she said, I thought “But this IS what 72 looks like!” -
and wondered what was her mental picture of 72?
You
may have experienced these well-intentioned but veiled ageist remarks based on
what our youth focused society thinks old age should look like. Should I have a
wrinkled face? Should I see a walker as a sign of decline instead of a means to
stay independent? Should I be disinterested in community events? Should I be
technologically illiterate?
Even
though we know different, we can still internalize these negative perceptions
of all older adults which can affect our own health: avoiding water aerobics
because we don’t want to be seen in a swimming suit; or no longer walking
because we feel embarrassed using a walker.
You
may have heard other well intentioned comments based on the false concept that
young is better than old; or that demean and devalue a person assuming somehow
they are less than who they really are. Here are a few more from the AARP
website “Disrupt Aging”. What do you
think?
“Grandma
is so adorable.” Is grandma a puppy or a baby? “Adorable” can be demeaning when
applied to an older adult.
“Can I
help you young lady?” Why mention age at all? This comment just reinforces the
cultural value that young is good and old is bad.
“Old
dogs can’t learn new tricks.” This generalizes that anyone who is old is not
educable or retrainable – such as the belief older adults can’t learn new
technologies. It’s not that we can’t. It’s just that we ask the question,
“Why?”
“60 is
the new 30.” Now what does that mean? In our 60’s are we supposed to be the
same as when we were in our 30’s? And would we really want to be?
Older adults
are diverse, each with their own individual gifts, challenges and possibilities
- as well as different levels of mobility, aptitude and interests. There is not
one picture of what our 70’s, 80’s or 90’s should look like.
And
yet - knowing how these well intentioned remarks can embody a deeper negative
view of aging and older adults, the other day when I learned a friend was 86, my
first thought was, “Wow, he doesn’t look 86!”
You’re
lucky if you appreciate local history because as this is a leap year there is
an extra “Original Courthouse Regional History Forum” on Saturday, February 29th.
This week’s forum is “Famous Visitors: Guess Who Came to Dinner?” Rodger
Nichols, a man of many talents as well as local historian and member of the
Courthouse board, will share stories about notable folks who have come to The
Dalles in the past 215 years plus some homegrown notables. The program begins
at 1:30 p.m. in the 1859 courthouse behind The Dalles Chamber of
Commerce/Visitors’ Center.
The
hit television series first aired in 1966 where the IMF leader received his
tape-recorded instructions ending with “This tape will self-destruct in 5
seconds” was Mission Impossible starring Peter Graves (the younger
brother of Matt Dillion - I mean James Arness). I received correct answers from
Cheri Brent, Diana Weston, Lana Tepfer, Jess Birge, Marta and Guy Moser, Jeanne
Pesicka, Dave Lutgens and Ron Nelson this week’s winner of a quilt raffle
ticket. And last week I missed Elaine Lee.
This superhero
could be found in comic strips, theatrical shorts and television cartoons since
the 30’s and was one of my favorites when growing up in the 50’s. For this
week’s “Remember When” question, what was the name of the character who sang
(and you can sing along at home), “I yam what I yam and that’s all what I yam, I’m
….” Email your answer to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, leave a message at
541-296-4788 or drop it off with a case of a certain green vegetable.
Well, it’s been another week, enjoying the early morning
sunlight. Until we meet again, don’t look for what you don’t want to see.
“We
have to be able to grow up. Our wrinkles are our medals of the passage of life.
They are what we have been through and who we want to be.” Lauren Hutton