Lives
have been lost and routines have been disrupted. By now, most people are taking
the pandemic seriously: social distancing, hand washing and sanitizing (although
I think my wife is taking it too seriously when she insists I stay six feet
away!)
With
all the anxiety and uncertainty, “When is this going to end?”, we still must
remember to laugh which may be the best antidote for these strange times. So, I
want to share three jokes from the book Die Laughing: Killer Jokes for Newly
Old Folks by William Novak.
But
first, a few words from our sponsors.
The Mid-Columbia
Senior Center’s Quilters are making handmade face masks and are asking folks to
do the same. You can place donated face masks in the box outside the Center’s front
door to be distributed to those who need one to protect themselves and others. More
information including patterns can be found on the Center’s website
www.midcolumbiaseniorcenter.com.
Even
though the center is closed, we are answering calls at 541-296-4788 thanks to the
wonder of call forwarding. Meals-on-Wheels is delivering meals; and offering
take-out but you need to call before 10:00. For more information call 541-298-8333.
And because folks still turn 65 even when there’s a pandemic, SHIBA (Medicare
counseling) is available by calling or texting 541-288-8341.
In
addition, if you would like to volunteer helping older adults or know of anyone
needing groceries delivered or a friendly check-in by phone, you can call
Circles of Care at 541-397-0724 or email Gracen at gbookmyer@ageplus.org.
Now back
to the show! Here are three jokes you may have heard before, but I hope they
still make you smile. The theme is “Try to Remember”.
A man
walks into a pharmacy. “I’m looking for some acetylsalicylic”, he tells the
druggist.
“You
mean aspirin?”
“Thank
you! I can never remember the word.”
A doctor
is sent to a nursing home to test the minds and memories of the residents. To
save time, she interviews them in groups of three. The first group she meets
with consists of three men.
Turning
to the first one, she asks, “What’s nine times thirteen?”
“That
would be four hundred and six”, the man replies.
Without
giving any indication that his answer is wrong, she turns to the second man.
“What do you think, sir?” What’s nine times thirteen?”
“That’s
easy”, he says. “It’s Thursday.”
She
turns to the third man and says, “Nine times thirteen?”
He
answers immediately. “One hundred seventeen.”
“Excellent,”
says the doctor. “How did you get it so quickly?”
“Simple”,
he says. “I just subtracted four hundred and six from Thursday.”
Frank
Sinatra goes to see his mother in a nursing home. It’s his first visit and the
residents are thrilled to see him.
He
patiently answers their questions and signs a few autographs. When he notices a
woman who is sitting alone and paying no attention to him, a mixture of
compassion and narcissism prompts him to go over and sit with her.
“How
are you today?” he says.
“Not
too bad,” she replies. “Are you here to visit someone?”
“Yes,
my mother lives here. By the way, do you have any idea who I am?”
“No,” says
the women, “but if you go to the front desk, I’m sure they can tell you.”
The
comedian who hosted his own weekly variety show and whose character Geraldine
Jones popularized the catchphrase “What you see is what you get” was Flip
Wilson. I received correct answers from Sam Bilyeu, Beverly McKinney, Rhonda
Spies, Lana Tepfer, Julie Carter, Jim Ayers, Glenna McCarger, Patty Burnet and
this week’s winner of a quilt raffle ticket, Jess Birge who still has two Flip
Wilson albums.
It’s
the first Wednesday of the month so it’s again “What use to beeeeeee there!”
and the category is “Where you rest your head”. For this week’s two-part “Remember
When” question, what was the previous name for what is now Cherry Heights
Living; and what was the name of the hotel that is now Shilo Inn? Email your
answer to mcseniorcenter@gmail.com, leave a message at 541-296-4788 or send it with
an original vintage postcard of the Tillicum Motor Inn (which you can buy on
Amazon for only $18.99!)
Well,
it’s been another week, trying to adapt to the new normal. Until we meet again,
as the Center’s quilters say, “All together - alone, we can make a difference!”
“These
changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes, Nothing remains quite the same.
Through all of the islands and all of the highlands, If we couldn't laugh we
would all go insane.” Jimmy Buffett
No comments:
Post a Comment